i loved this...

remember that post a while back about how many fifth graders you could take on? (link) another blogger took it to the next level with hilarious results. enjoy a taste.





Height: 3'9"
Weight: 45 lbs.
Strengths: Unpredictability
Weaknesses: Bipolar, Stamina
RT's Analysis: Francis is a fucking psycho. He'll come out of the gate swinging hard, but after a few minutes I'll bet his Bipolar will take him off the deep end, and he'll start taking punches at his imaginary friend Satchmo. At this point, a crane kick to the base of the skull should crush Francis like a hot M & M.



Height: 3'7"
Weight: 47 lbs.
Strengths: Biting, Ear-Piercing Shriek
Weaknesses: Food
RT's Analysis: Those pre-K latchkey years of munching on Hot Pockets and jerky watching Dora The Explorer might pay off for little Sally, as this bitch looks like she could rip my gonads off with one bite from those jagged little fangs. Alas, her hunger will be her downfall. I'll distract her by pulling out a pack of Starburst from my pocket, and while she reaches for the candy, I'll lung kick her in the solar plexus and, with any luck, paralyze this little cunt for life.