there's a lot happening on the u.e.s....
thank god that reggie is here to tell us all about it.
Last Night I got a little tipsy playing cards, drinking scotch and smoking mad cigabutts. Ended up losing cash and not even remembering leaving my buddies place. The next thing I know I am being woken up by a lot of banging on my apt door I get out of bed stumble over to the door and guess who is there? New York's finest! Suddenly I am thinking what the fuk did I do?! Is someone hurt? what the hell is going on? Turns out that two residents of the halfway house around the block decided to break curfew and were locked out. Instead of getting in trouble with their parole officers they decided to throw a brick throughmy building two front doors, walk around my building trying to get into peoples apts and piss all over the hallway! After carousing around 353 East 85th they leap across the roof to the halfway house where they were eventual caught, thus getting themselves in trouble with the Police and most likely going back to Rikers.
The Best part about the whole thing was the cops looked at me and said "rough night?" laughed and moved on. Now fully awake I shut the door looked down and saw that I was still in my dress shirt and suit slacks! This morning my super was cleaning up glass and throwing out all types of derogitory (I think) terms in Italian which was extremly hilarious as well. To top of my cop story I was stopped at the subway this morning to have my bag checked. I still am not sure what I think about this situation.
Last Night I got a little tipsy playing cards, drinking scotch and smoking mad cigabutts. Ended up losing cash and not even remembering leaving my buddies place. The next thing I know I am being woken up by a lot of banging on my apt door I get out of bed stumble over to the door and guess who is there? New York's finest! Suddenly I am thinking what the fuk did I do?! Is someone hurt? what the hell is going on? Turns out that two residents of the halfway house around the block decided to break curfew and were locked out. Instead of getting in trouble with their parole officers they decided to throw a brick throughmy building two front doors, walk around my building trying to get into peoples apts and piss all over the hallway! After carousing around 353 East 85th they leap across the roof to the halfway house where they were eventual caught, thus getting themselves in trouble with the Police and most likely going back to Rikers.
The Best part about the whole thing was the cops looked at me and said "rough night?" laughed and moved on. Now fully awake I shut the door looked down and saw that I was still in my dress shirt and suit slacks! This morning my super was cleaning up glass and throwing out all types of derogitory (I think) terms in Italian which was extremly hilarious as well. To top of my cop story I was stopped at the subway this morning to have my bag checked. I still am not sure what I think about this situation.
7 Comments:
Fuk (a nod to your styling) spell check dude. You got it going on. Did it smell like PP? Do you fall asleep fully clothed often? I like that move.
This is the UES report I've been waiting for. What time did all this go down?
nice work reggie. bailed me out for how bizzy i am today.
My college roomate once left a doodie in my hallway, but yours story sounds worse.
a-dub
Deezy once left a quarter of milk under my bed at Kenyon. I found it and put in under his bed. About 4 months later, when we were packing for the summer, it was discovered and spilled in the hall. Maybe the single worse smell my virgin nasal passage had ever dealt with. PP and Poo are mad funny, but so smelly.
If I remember correctly freshman year Malcolm X left a small mouth Bass under Thad Pitneys's bed. Rommate Joel Sestito found it. I think Fredeeky lived across the hall.. Good times.
Adub
joel sestito is a freaking legend. i loved that guy. so bashful and hilarious. i lived upstairs. anthony and billy lived across the hall.
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