the key food report....
thanks to little birdie for sharing.
Yesterday while I was trying to shop at Keyfood for bean salad ingredients I accidentally took a lady's cart. We both had empty carts except for white bags in the bottom. I had no idea that it wasn't my cart until she puffed her bad smoker's breath in my face and yelled that I stole from her and that I was a stupid b*tch who should be ashamed of myself. My reaction was to tell her I was sorry and that it was a mistake, and then later when she insisted on yelling and following me around I told her she was a maniac. She didn't like that, but she was the one doing the real name calling.
Apparently there was some high quality wine in the stolen cart, which is what I was after and that's what angered her the most. She got pretty heated about the wine and that's when she started pointing her finger in my face, puffing her bad breath, and doing a female version of the chest bump all while yelling at me. I was baffled and pressed up against the cereal boxes at this point, so I felt I had to defend myself because the store was crowded and it had been an honest mistake. I was close to going over the line and telling her to get some Listerine to take care of her nasty breath if she was going to be puffing it into my face, but then I got scared that she owned a gun or would hit me outside the store so I very slowly told her to 'shut the f--- up'.
There was a group of firemen shopping for their dinner in their uniforms next to us when this went down. Then the store manager, who was restocking some tv dinners, came over and told us to "break it up". She was still repeating her mantra of stupid, ashamed, b*tch. The firemen were all about 7 feet tall and they made jokes about me being a cart stealer and told me not to worry about it, which was nice. I was so shaken that I bought only things in the dairy aisle (yogurt, milk, ricotta) since I was too scared to move about the store but was determined not to let her drive me out, at least visibly. Then tried to leave before I saw Crazy Bad Breath again. As I was checking out the firemen were steeling stuff from my cart, and I laughed but couldn't react cause I was kind of frazzled.
I didn't even know how much I spent until I got home and locked my door. $15.00 on dairy.
Yesterday while I was trying to shop at Keyfood for bean salad ingredients I accidentally took a lady's cart. We both had empty carts except for white bags in the bottom. I had no idea that it wasn't my cart until she puffed her bad smoker's breath in my face and yelled that I stole from her and that I was a stupid b*tch who should be ashamed of myself. My reaction was to tell her I was sorry and that it was a mistake, and then later when she insisted on yelling and following me around I told her she was a maniac. She didn't like that, but she was the one doing the real name calling.
Apparently there was some high quality wine in the stolen cart, which is what I was after and that's what angered her the most. She got pretty heated about the wine and that's when she started pointing her finger in my face, puffing her bad breath, and doing a female version of the chest bump all while yelling at me. I was baffled and pressed up against the cereal boxes at this point, so I felt I had to defend myself because the store was crowded and it had been an honest mistake. I was close to going over the line and telling her to get some Listerine to take care of her nasty breath if she was going to be puffing it into my face, but then I got scared that she owned a gun or would hit me outside the store so I very slowly told her to 'shut the f--- up'.
There was a group of firemen shopping for their dinner in their uniforms next to us when this went down. Then the store manager, who was restocking some tv dinners, came over and told us to "break it up". She was still repeating her mantra of stupid, ashamed, b*tch. The firemen were all about 7 feet tall and they made jokes about me being a cart stealer and told me not to worry about it, which was nice. I was so shaken that I bought only things in the dairy aisle (yogurt, milk, ricotta) since I was too scared to move about the store but was determined not to let her drive me out, at least visibly. Then tried to leave before I saw Crazy Bad Breath again. As I was checking out the firemen were steeling stuff from my cart, and I laughed but couldn't react cause I was kind of frazzled.
I didn't even know how much I spent until I got home and locked my door. $15.00 on dairy.
posted by fredeeky at
12:15 PM
3 Comments:
I loved this. Like a dreamy combo of an East Village report and (as ALB called it) the dark side of the Metropolitan Diary. The scared puppy picture was great... can't say I understood the boxing one?
the Scared puppy pic made my friday
ha! big deal. that happens to me all the time.
Post a Comment
Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]
<< Home