the jeff ruland report...

anyone remember this guy jeff ruland? i didn't either. he's just a 6'10 honky from bay shore -- strong island -- who averaged 22.2 points and 12.3 rebounds a game for the 1983-84 washington bullets. how come this guy isn't one of my all time favorites? i wish i had known. look at him. he's perfect. socks pulled up to an uncool length? yup. terrible mid-eighties philly uni? check. stashe? you bet. this guy is the total package. i am getting myself a ruland bullets throwback no matter what. he looks like a cross between the falafel guy downstairs from me and the drunken yankee fan that sits a few rows back from me sweating and screaming at top volume. reggie could have sat next to this guy on the l.i.r.r. and just thought to himself, "that is one supersized mustachioed guido. i can't believe he's eating a f'ing mc rib on the train." i imagine ruland to be always snacking on mc ribz and pulling down rebounds like a crazy person. that's just how he does it. mc rib fueled bay shore incredibleness. all this time that i've wasted. i could have been learning about ruland. i can't wait to go to bay shore and pay homage. sorry chris dudley, jon koncak, matt fish, doleac and the rest, but you can all go f yourselves. jeff ruland forever!



he's also the head coach at iona. perfect.